My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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