I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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