Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
