We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
