Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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