After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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