I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
