this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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