put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
