Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
time to smoke my breakfast
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
