I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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