Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
