So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
