I wish you could order shots online.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
