She said her name was "party"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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