sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
