who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
