He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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