I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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