I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
