my soul wont recognize me after tonight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
