It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
