But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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