great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
