We're facebook friends in real life
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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