im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
