how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
