yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
