I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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