Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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