I just saw a hot homeless man
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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