don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
