Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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