last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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