O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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