you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
