Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
