he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
