I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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