My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
