I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
