You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
