i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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