what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
