so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
