seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
