Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
