so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
