btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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