It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
